Josh's Jibberish

Winning the Game

2008-05-29T16:52:00.003-05:00

The rules of the game are simple:

1) Once you know about the game, you are always playing the game

2) If you think about the game, you lose the game. You must then announce that you have lost, causing everyone around you to lose.

God, being omniscient, would always have the game in mind. Thus, God always loses the game. At first glance, this seems problematic, until you recall the third and fourth rules of game:

3) If you die in the game, you die for real.

4) The only way to win the game is to die.

Thus, since Jesus has died and risen again, he probably won the game. Making him the only person besides Ender Wiggin to do so.

You just lost.

The Prestige

2008-05-15T21:54:00.003-05:00

It's rare that a movie makes its audience think. It's even rarer that a movie confuses me even after watching it twice. The Prestige does both, and with good form.

I like its plot twist, as well as its aesthetic. It's got that sort of charming victorian/gothic feel, but not in smothering amounts.

Also: Nikola Tesla.

I don't want to ruin the movie for you, so I won't write much more. But do go and watch it.

The Prestige on IMDB

End of the Semester

2008-05-12T17:30:00.004-05:00

Spring semester 08 is drawing to a close. I'm packing my things, tying up loose ends, and of course spending those last moments with friends.

I plan on living in Princeton for one more summer. Hopefully I will be working a steady job and making some money (which will all go away when I travel to Australia- oh well)

I have some plans: Cousin Ben and I are brainstorming for the newest installment in our increasingly high-quality series of movies. I also have some technical projects in mind and one or two new skills I want to learn (stay tuned to see if I am actually ambitious enough to accomplish any of this).

I wish I could say I will miss school, but we all know I won't.

Going Down (Under)

2008-04-05T16:46:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was probably the best day of my college life.

Among other things, I found out that I got accepted to study abroad at Murdoch University in Perth, Australia.

While that will be great fun come next spring, in the meantime it means applying for a passport, filling out paperwork, maintaining a strong GPA, and raising funds.

It's like applying for college all over again.

Swording Things Out

2008-03-20T20:08:00.001-05:00

Warning: The following is an in-depth rant about the nuances of British Literature and has nothing to do with swallows- European or otherwise.

What started out as a funny movie scene soon became something much more:

"
King Arthur: I am your king.

Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

[Angelic music plays... ]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
"

These are well-known lines from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. While watching that movie earlier tonight, I suddenly realized how horribly fact-confusing they are.

You see, Arthur did not become king when the Lady of the Lake gave him Excalibur. By then, he had already been king for a long time. Arthur was first recognized as king when he pulled the sword from the stone, making him "rightwise born king of all England." That sword was NOT Excalibur, but rather a different sword.

Later, Arthur receives Excalibur. In TH Whites' Once and Future King, Arthur receives Excalibur when his previous sword is broken in battle. Other legends vary, but for the most part it is clear that Excalibur is NOT the sword Arthur pulled from the stone. Even in those versions where the swords are one and the same (the 1981 film Excalibur comes to mind), the Lady of the Lake plays no part in Arthur's ascendance to the throne.

Conclusion: as a movie, The Quest for the Holy Grail is very humorous and enjoyable to watch. However, there are serious flaws in its interpretation of Arthurian Legend. Left unchecked, such flaws may degrade the populace's understanding of classic English Literature.

Please, PLEASE help stop the perpetuation of such muddled ideas.

PS And another thing: What's with Arthur's tunic having a sun on it? Everyone knows that the Pendragon arms were Argent, a lion rampant statant or . That's not even disputable... *sigh*

Make them Emo... Give them Guns

2008-03-05T18:10:00.004-06:00

I've been noticing a pattern in the way video games develop.

You start with a classic game (e.g. Sonic the Hedgehog). Then you follow a two-step formula:

1) Make the main character emo or "dark"

2) Give the characters guns

Thus you have "Shadow the Hedgehog."

cf. Jak II, Jak III, Final Fantasy X, and Namco's upcoming game, Emo Packman Extreme: The reckoning*

---

*Not a real game

A Top Ten List that Doesn't Suck

2008-02-22T00:27:00.008-06:00

While on a late-night Wikipedia binge, I ran across one of those "top-10" lists that gamers like to crap out about every other day. This one, however, I found to be somewhat accurate. Especially numbers 2 and 4 (both of whom I find sexually arousing).

Coolest Video Game Characters Ever by G4

Edit:

Another decent top 10 list

Microsoft, AKA Whore

2008-02-02T17:41:00.001-06:00

Look closely at these two pictures. One is "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Legend" for Xbox 360, the game I thought I was buying today at GameStop. The other is the EXACT SAME GAME for the original Xbox, the game I actually bought. No problem, obviously the 360 is back compatible, right? I mean... the PS3 is.

Unfortunately, Microsoft again shows how dead set it is on screwing over consumers. So... even though I met Lara at the mall and paid $15 to take her home,

she still won't let me have any fun.

Fun Adjectives

2008-01-20T01:05:00.000-06:00

With another semester coming on, I thought I would offer some fun adjectives that, with a little creativity, can spice up almost any piece of writing (although good luck trying to use the words "vorpal" and "winsome" in your next chemistry lab report.)

The List:

Melancholy

Sad; Gloomy

Inane

Void or destitute of sense; silly, senseless; empty-headed (Oxford English Dictionary)

Voluptuous

Of or pertaining to gratification of the senses. Luxuriously sensuous. (Oxford English Dictionary)

Vorpal

Deadly; Tending to cause decapitation. First used by Lewis Carroll in his poem "Jabberwocky"

Winsome

Delightfully charming; Optimistic

Mistress Chief: Attack of the Female Halo Players

2008-01-03T23:12:00.001-06:00

"Just to put this out there, I'm not a guy." That much was obvious- Chezzy's alluring voice and sexy-cynical attitude made it plain that she had no Y chromosomes about her. The odd part was that it was her first time playing Halo, and despite her apologies for "not knowing where any of the weapons are," she always came in second on the team. (I was *ahem* usually first.)

Before Chezzy (short for thefirstchezzy), I had never encountered a female Halo player. I have heard of them, people like Brett Bushman's girlfriend or even professionals like the foul-mouthed frag dolls. But to actually encounter a woman on matchmaking, that's something rare. When it rains, it seems to pour. I met a few other Ranked Matchmaking Vixens that night, and they weren't all such charming, polite killers. XGC DeadlyRose1 and xLovely Angelx quite frankly kicked my team's asses, even with Chezzy's 1337 headshot skills on our side.

Thankfully, I only had to play one game against such lethal women, while Chezzy stayed with my team for a good half dozen matches, and friended all involved so that the carnage may continue at a later date.

And so... frag on, dear fatal females of the online gaming world, frag on.

Official stats from the game with THREE female competitors

Saving the earth... one Mako reactor at a time.

2007-12-14T17:34:00.001-06:00

As part of an English project, I had to cite Final Fantasy VII. In the annotation, I wrote that "I gave 60 hours of my life."

Well, I booted up the ol' PS2 today and realized that that number is closer to 70. 70 hours of gameplay. 2 more hours and I'll hit the 3 day mark. Woohoo. Maybe then I'll get my ultimate limite break: couch potato. "Josh attacks all buttons simultaneously, ignoring exercise and doing massive damage to his cardiovascular system. "

Sellout the Hedgehog

2007-12-11T19:32:00.001-06:00

What you are looking at is, indeed, the cover of a real Nintendo Wii game. I'll let you make your own judgments.

Rubix Cube

2007-12-10T14:57:00.000-06:00

Today, I solved my Rubix cube for the 2nd time ever.

I've got the first 4 steps in Lar's Petrus' method down, as well as step 6. It's really only 5 and 7 I still have to learn. Then I should be able to solve a Cube in about 2 minutes (not that that's a good speed time or anything, but it would still be cool.)